Common Psychotherapy Questions, An Ongoing Series: What is Psychotherapy Anyways?

Welcome to my ongoing blog series, part one! I will be addressing common questions I have received over the course of my career; I will cover everything from what the heck psychotherapy is in the first place, myths about emotions, what to expect from your therapy experience, and couples therapy. There are a dizzying amount of therapy models and theories out there and it can be overwhelming to start your therapy journey. A quick google search can lead to a confusing deep dive into validated therapy sources interspersed with pseudoscientific products and oversimplified, pithy, declarative posts. It’s hard to know what to ask or where to find helpful answers. While this blog is not meant to be an exhaustive look at all things psychotherapy, I hope to answer some general questions and shed some light on common misconceptions.

What is Psychotherapy Anyways? What to Expect and What Do Therapist Really Do?

I thought I would start with a basic description of what psychotherapy actually is. As I mentioned there are many models of therapy out there but for the purposes of this blog, I am going to focus on the basic concepts which run through most if not all of them.

‘Psycho’ stands for ‘psychology.’ Psychology is the science of the human (and non-human, but for our purposes, human) mind and behaviour. It concerns interest in what drives humans, their mental processes (which can be subconscious or conscious), motives, fears, beliefs, desires, behaviours, thoughts, and emotions. It concerns interest in how and why humans bond to each other (this is called attachment theory https://positivepsychology.com/attachment-theory/), and how we develop and experience a sense of self (how you know you are you, how you became you, and what is it like for you to be you!). While psychology is a social science, there is a lot of crossover and mutual informing between it and the medical science of the brain, neurobiology. Other fields such as biology, philosophy, and sociology also inform psychotherapy as most therapeutic approaches aim to treat the whole person and all factors that contribute to their personal psychology. Our mental, emotional, and physical experiences are all interconnected.

The therapy part of psychotherapy is the process by which the therapist helps an individual, family, or couple to overcome or change a challenge caused by their personal psychology using psychological theories and methods. It is often called talk therapy because it is typical that you sit down with your therapist and talk through what you are struggling with. It can sound like any normal conversation but it is really a team of two people, client and therapist, exploring and processing together to attain a goal which is subjectively determined (such as to feel better, to understand your mind more, to change a behaviour, to resolve an inner conflict, to improve a relationship, etc.). When you see a therapist you are getting a bespoke experience. Your specific history, goals, emotions, and experience are being considered and you are working with the therapist to create a treatment plan that is suited to you.

“Working through, processing, and unpacking” are terms therapists use to describe how we help people go from a jumbled, confusing, often subconscious, emotionally overwhelming mental state to one that is more organized, coherent and integrated, conscious (becoming more self-aware), and emotionally regulated. It’s like taking a giant tangled ball of holiday lights and gently teasing out each knot. We use skills of communication like active listening, asking lots of pointed questions designed to help you and us understand or gain insight, being curious and challenging outdated beliefs that may be subconscious and limiting, and reflecting back to you what we observe or different perspectives that may help you grow (always checking that our observations resonate with you to make sure we are truly understanding you. You are the expert on you!). This is dynamic in that we are doing this together. It is interactional and relational in that the therapist/client relationship (called the therapeutic alliance) is part of the therapy itself. You are relating to the therapist and vice versa.   

One thing I tell all of my clients is that I am not entitled to your trust! It is my most important job to earn it. It is very scary to share with a stranger the most vulnerable parts of yourself. Therapy is confidential, but I never forget the courage it takes for people to open up to me and to trust me. I never take that responsibility lightly. But I also know that it takes time to build trust and the responsibility is mine. Most therapists offer free consultations (as do I) and I encourage people to take them up on this when you are searching for a therapist. A consultation is like an interview where you get to ask questions and get a sense of if a particular therapist is a good fit for you. You can ask us anything and you do not have to commit to anything after a consultation. If you are therapy-curious, this is a good place to start.

In my next blog post, I will explore further some of the different reason’s people seek therapy. Some of them may surprise you!